Smart people use these methods to deal with difficult colleague

• Posted by GAFM AFRICA January 25, 2018 - Filed in Business - ##hr #humanresources #digitalhr #digitalmigration  - 854 views

  Difficult people defy logic.Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people's buttons.Either way,they create unnecessary complexity,strife and worst of all stress.

  Most sources of stress at work are easy to identify.If your non-profit is working to land a grant that your organization needs to function,you 're bound to feel stress and likely know how to manage it.It's the unexpected sources of stress that take you by surprise and harm you the most.

  To deal with difficult people effectively,you need an approach that enables you,across the board,to control what you can and eliminate what you can't.The important thing to remember is is that you are in control of far more than you realise.

  1. They set limits.

  Complainers and negative people are bad news because they wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions.They want people to join their pity party so that they feel better about themselves.People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don't want to be seen as callous or rude,but there's a fine line between lending a sympathetic ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral.You can avoid this only by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary.

  2. They rise above.

  Difficult people drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational.Make no mistake about it;their behavior truly goes against reason.So why do you allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and get sucked into the mix?The more irrational and off-base someone is,the easier it should be for you to remove yourself from their traps.

  3. They stay aware of their emotions.

  Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness.You can't stop someone from pushing your buttons if you don't recognize when it's happening.Sometimes you'll find yourself in situations where you'll need to regroup and choose the best way forward.

  4.They establish boundaries.

  Once you've found your way to Rise above a person,you'll begin to find to find their behaviour more predictable and easier to understand.This will equip you to think rationally about when and where you have to put up with them and when you don't.

  If you set boundaries and decide when and where you'll engage a difficult person,you can control much of the chaos.

  5. They don't die in the fight.

  Smart people know how important it is to lie to fight another day,especially when your foe is a toxic individual.In conflict,unchecked emotion makes you dig your heels in and fight the kind of battle that can leave you severely damaged.When you read and respond to your emotions,you're able to choose your battles wisely and only stand your ground when the time is right.

  6. They don't focus on problems-only solutions.

  Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state.When you fixate on the problems you're facing,you create  and prolong negative emotions and stress.When you focus on actions to better yourself and your circumstances,you create a sense of personal efficacy that produces positive emotions and reduces stress.

  7. The don't forget.

  Emotionally intelligent people are quick to forgive,but that doesn't mean that they forget.Forgiveness requires letting go of what has happened so that you can move on.It doesn't mean that you'll give a wrongdoer another chance .

  8.They squash negative self-talk.

  Sometimes you absorb the negativity of other people.There's nothing wrong with feeling bad about how someone is treating you,but you self-talk (the thoughts you have about your feelings) can either intensify the negativity or help you move past it.

  9. They get some sleep.

  Sleep deprivation raises stress hormone levels on it's own,even without a stressor present.A good night's sleep makes you more positive,creative and proactive in your approach to toxic people,giving you the perspective you need to deal effectively with them.

  10.They use their support system 

  To deal with toxic people,you need to recognise the weaknesses in your approach to them.This means tapping into your support system to gain perspective on a challenging person.Everyone has someone at work and/or outside work who is on their team,rooting for them and ready to help them get the best from difficult situation.